OMG how time flies!!!!
I feel like it was a week ago when I started pulling out my Christmas boxes and decorating my tree! I feel almost sad that this wonderful time of the year is going by so fast.
When I was younger I remember some people telling me that Christmas time made them sad, I thought they were crazy!! How could someone be sad during Christmas right? There was food, parties, presents.... everything was just perrr-fect!
Well, today, I am a bit older, and I completely understand what they were saying... actually, I have become one of those people who feel sad during Christmas time. These last few years have been tough. My family has been through some difficult times and difficult situations. I know my problems are nothing compared to what other people experience, but sometimes I have a hard time remembering this.
I have to be honest and admit a lot of times I feel depressed and deep sadness, I wonder how everything in my life has changed so much during the last few years. I pity myself sometimes.... what a horrible thing to do I know. Christmas brings a lot of happiness but also reminds me of what I have lost. Last week at work something happened that made me open my eyes and realize I need to stop feeling this way and instead focus on what really matters and most of all, appreciate what I have.
We have several student employees at my office. There is one lady who is pursing her undergrad degree; she is about 50 years old. I had never really talked to her but I assumed she had decided to go back to school because her children were all gown up and she needed something to do. OH but how wrong I was.
I was sitting in my office and I heard her asking our secretary for a Tylenol because her head hurt. Our secretary asked her if she needed to go home and she said "I am starting to think about it". I though to myself " oh what a baby.... she should suck it up, I get head aches all the time". I will regret thinking that all my life. A few minutes later a heard a loud noise, I thought some boxes had fallen down from the cabinet. I ran out to find her laying on the floor. We rushed to pick her up and she woke up about 45 sec later. She told us that was the third time that day she has passed out, once in the morning at her house, a second in the hallway at our office where nobody saw her, and this time. I asked if she had eaten anything and she told me she has half a banana in the morning. I was shocked! I am the type of person that needs to eat almost every two hours! To make the story short... her son came and picked her up, she didn't want us to call 911.
After she left, one of my co-workers, her supervisor, told us what really was going on: she has cancer, for the second time; her husband is not employed; she mentioned it is hard to eat when you have no food in your fridge; she has no electricity or water right now in her house; she has no money to see a doctor.
I have not been able to stop thinking about her since that day. My co-workers and myself decided to each give some money to make her holidays a little better, but I wish I could do more for her. I don't want to share this experience with you because it helped me refocus and remember that this holiday season is not about spending money like a crazy person, it's not about feeling sad because you are not getting that beautiful handbag you can't afford for Christmas, it's about cherishing what we have and the people we have in our lives. Christmas ins about giving thanks for what we have received in life and thanking God for our blessings; sometimes we forget we have blessings, since they don't always come in the ways we expect. Blessings are not money, success, fame.... blessings have a much deeper value.
I hope you join my in remembering we shouldn't be sad during this time of year... we should remember what really matters. It doesn't matter if you are surrounded by 1000 people this Christmas or just you are alone. Enjoy this time, give thanks for the blessings we receive, for being alive! Don't get lost in trying to buy presents, the crowds, the stress of the holiday bills! Remember Christmas is a feeling we should carry with us all year long.
Tomorrow let's celebrate life and being alive!
Merry Christmas!!!!!
AB
